dear katy b (not perry)

amazing.

dear wings

take me far away from here.
even for an hour or so, it would be nice to be somewhere else for awhile.
this is cheesy, but there's this quote from Fight Club which is completely brilliant:
"If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"
i think you could.

but for now, i'm in an odd mood.
it's like nothing is going wrong, but nothing it going right.
i have nothing to lose and nothing to gain;
things are basically at a stalemate and i don't know what my reaction should be to that.
it's an issue from within, it's not something that can talked about.
it's something that is what it is, it's nothing more or less.

sometimes you get so fed up of being who you are, you just need to take a break.
but that's not possible, really. unless you plan on being schizophrenic (i'll pass - thanks for the offer).
i wouldn't want to be me right now.

dear katy perry

"do you ever feel
like a plastic bag
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?"
- um, what?
Katy dear, what have you been smoking?
firstly, no I don't usually feel anything like a plastic bag
secondly, I wasn't aware that plastic bags had minds of their own and all of them happen to want to start again...

and wtf?
"boom boom boom, even brighter than the moon, moon, moon."
i'm serious Katy Perry... there's something wrong with the song.
ok, i love the idea of it, but i think your lyrics are horrible.

i'll think of some suitable ones and post them later.

but seriously, what the hell?

in other news:
i dislike people.
especially people who are supposed to be your friends.
i don't feel like elaborating.
but sometimes people can be assholes.

dear future

School.
These days I'm liking you less and less.
Every day I walk into school thinking 'wow, another day stuck in this place.'
Don't get me wrong - I love the people at my school, they're all amazing! My year group is probably one of the best and closest in the whole school.
But sometimes I just think about the things that go around school and wonder, "why the hell am I even here?"
Or, the newest one, "what did I do to deserve this?"

Doesn't it suck when someone deliberately ruins your chances are achieving a decent reference? Hmm? When someone goes up to your Head of Year and just tells them how horrible you are?

Yeah, it SUCKS. Especially since he hasn't even written my reference yet. I don't think he liked me much to begin with anyway. But if he ruins my chances of going to as decent university, I will actually cry.

Look this is the thing:
I want to go to the UK for university - but my father wants me to go to Canada.
Canada is lovely, I've visited for 4 years in a row.
But somehow I can't imagine myself progressing very far outside of Canada once I've completed my qualifications.
Internationally, Canada isn't as highly regarded as the UK.
Forgive me if I'm wrong (except if you're Amina Samy) but that's my opinion.
I didn't even know anything about Canada until I was forced to do research on it.

But hey, whatever. We'll see how it goes... wish me luck.
Lol, it's not like anyone will read this anyway.

dear school

you are weighing me down with work and i don't like it.
i don't know if i can handle you, school. you're annoying me a lot these days!
i have no free time to myself, and you require way too much.
if we were in a relationship, this is the part where i'd dump your sorry ass.
i haven't felt totally exhausted in a long time... today i came home and slept for over 3 hours straight.
exhausted i tell you!
you're such a bitch, and i hate you.
i swear, if your older brother university is just like you, i'm gonna be PISSED OFF.
but i think me and university would get along, since we have common interests; we'd pick a course we both enjoy :)
anyway, i don't like the fact that 4 A-Levels means i should just live on a desk, writing until the end of time.
you know what you need, school?
you need a little room where we can go get massages.
seriously.
ugh.

dear failure

thank you for teaching me how to deal with what's thrown at me.
without failing, i wouldn't know how to keep surviving!
my own personal advice is: if you fail at something then just keep trying over and strive for more :)
if someone shut you down or sidelined you, then prove them wrong.
there's no point in being bitter over things we feel we haven't done well at; if you aren't satisfied then just keep on doing your best.
for (a stupid) example: Richard Branson was a high-school drop out and now look what he has achieved!!
ba-boom-ba-da.

anyway, another thing i wanted to mention was...
writing personal statements is SO HARD.
i have all the information i need - literally ALL of it
i just don't know how to begin it. i don't know how to type it up.
it's all there, it's all set out and some sentences are even formed perfectly, just waiting to be saved onto my laptop.
but no.
i'm stupid.
and i can't think properly.

but i'm just going to keep on trying :) this WILL be done sooner or later!

toodles :)

dear mr. big-shot

if there weren't the average and less-than-average people at the bottom, you would've never been at the top.
just sayin'.

dear you

recently i've been on websites such as givesmehope.com and sixbillionsecrets.com
there are so many stories about people my age and even younger being so depressed and suicidal.
it makes me really upset thinking that people in our own lives could be thinking the exact same thing.
i used to make fun of people who self harm but it's actually something loads of people do.
i used to think it was to get attention by making people feel sorry for you.
no; people who self harm are usually people who hate themselves so much that they try to destroy their own bodies.
i believe we live in a society where people find it so easy to talk badly to other people; whether it's by making fun of them or just plain out bullying them. the beautiful men and women we see on TV and adverts doesn't really help either.
our society doesn't only cause hate; it breeds it.

yuck this topic is making me depressed.

what i meant to say from the beginning is: if you love someone and don't really show it everyday then maybe you should. be kind to people. help someone out.
you don't know if you could be saving a life.