dear school

you are weighing me down with work and i don't like it.
i don't know if i can handle you, school. you're annoying me a lot these days!
i have no free time to myself, and you require way too much.
if we were in a relationship, this is the part where i'd dump your sorry ass.
i haven't felt totally exhausted in a long time... today i came home and slept for over 3 hours straight.
exhausted i tell you!
you're such a bitch, and i hate you.
i swear, if your older brother university is just like you, i'm gonna be PISSED OFF.
but i think me and university would get along, since we have common interests; we'd pick a course we both enjoy :)
anyway, i don't like the fact that 4 A-Levels means i should just live on a desk, writing until the end of time.
you know what you need, school?
you need a little room where we can go get massages.
seriously.
ugh.

dear failure

thank you for teaching me how to deal with what's thrown at me.
without failing, i wouldn't know how to keep surviving!
my own personal advice is: if you fail at something then just keep trying over and strive for more :)
if someone shut you down or sidelined you, then prove them wrong.
there's no point in being bitter over things we feel we haven't done well at; if you aren't satisfied then just keep on doing your best.
for (a stupid) example: Richard Branson was a high-school drop out and now look what he has achieved!!
ba-boom-ba-da.

anyway, another thing i wanted to mention was...
writing personal statements is SO HARD.
i have all the information i need - literally ALL of it
i just don't know how to begin it. i don't know how to type it up.
it's all there, it's all set out and some sentences are even formed perfectly, just waiting to be saved onto my laptop.
but no.
i'm stupid.
and i can't think properly.

but i'm just going to keep on trying :) this WILL be done sooner or later!

toodles :)

dear mr. big-shot

if there weren't the average and less-than-average people at the bottom, you would've never been at the top.
just sayin'.

dear you

recently i've been on websites such as givesmehope.com and sixbillionsecrets.com
there are so many stories about people my age and even younger being so depressed and suicidal.
it makes me really upset thinking that people in our own lives could be thinking the exact same thing.
i used to make fun of people who self harm but it's actually something loads of people do.
i used to think it was to get attention by making people feel sorry for you.
no; people who self harm are usually people who hate themselves so much that they try to destroy their own bodies.
i believe we live in a society where people find it so easy to talk badly to other people; whether it's by making fun of them or just plain out bullying them. the beautiful men and women we see on TV and adverts doesn't really help either.
our society doesn't only cause hate; it breeds it.

yuck this topic is making me depressed.

what i meant to say from the beginning is: if you love someone and don't really show it everyday then maybe you should. be kind to people. help someone out.
you don't know if you could be saving a life.

dear life I

the number one priority in our lives is to live.
from before we were created, we fought for the right to exist.
from the day we first started kindergarten, we fought to be the smartest, the quickest and the best.
we strive for more as life goes on, through high-school we become more specialized and work against our peers in order to achieve more.
as we apply for universities we send off our applications knowing that we're fighting for a place against millions of applicants.
life is a never-ending war, and human greed is a never ending factor in our lives.
we breathe, we eat, we drink, we work, we play, we write, we laugh, we love, we cry... but throughout it all we strive for more.
we work for a way forward, acting like the clouds could be within reach if we just stood on our tip-toes, as if happiness could be within reach if we just pushed ourselves a bit further.
but no... we are never content with what we have - and why should we be?
after all, there's more out there that we don't know about... and why can't we have it?
human greed is often seen as a disease or as a spiteful characteristic - but is it?
to be selfish is to think of oneself... but what's the harm in that?
if you spend your life trying not to be selfish then you're not living; you're giving others the chance to seize opportunities that should be yours - opportunities that were MEANT to be yours.
never let someone outshine you and never let someone outsmart you. never believe you will fail just because you've been told you will. never let anyone make decisions for you.
a friend will support your decision no matter what; and a best friend will be loyal to you forever. someone who secretly hopes you fail isn't someone you can call your friend.
as you move on you meet people, and when someone matters you give them everything you can. don't be selfish and don't be selfless. be fair.
the number one priority in life is to live, so do it.

dear god

Dear God,

I am asking you for one thing
And it's something I really need.

Help me get motivated,
Help me get up to speed.

Exams are coming soon,
The nervousness has not set.

My parents think I won't get into anywhere;
Well, that's what they bet!

I'd like to go to UCL,
Or even King's College

I just don't know if I have
That certain special edge.

I have a problem, you see,
I procrastinate all day

The next day I go to class
And I have nothing to say!

It's time to get my act together
But studying is such a bore...

It's almost like as soon as I'm done
I need to study some more!

Alas, 'tis time for me to go
To get an education

Let's begin our lovely studying
And avoid procrastination...

Love, Zeina.